Crossovers Fom Hell (and How to Cope With Them)
by Karu Leonnese
Summary: I'M BAAAAAAAAACK!!! Chapter 8 up and running! I keep going, even on a holiday! Does anyone read these anymore??
1. Chapter One: FFVII Cast Meets Pokemon (e...

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**Crossovers From Hell (and How to Cope With Them)**

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**by Karuri-chan**

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**(Dis)claimer: I own everything. I'm an author! Vwee hee hee!!**

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**Notes: This is what happens when you try to multi-task at around 3 a.m. after eating **_**way**_** too much chocolate. Kids, don't try this at home! what you are watching is a professionally trained idiot!**

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Chapter One: FFVII meets Pokemon (Even though this has been done)

  


Narrator: Well, the FFVII group is lost, and it's their own stupid fault. They let Cloud lead the way.

  


Cloud: Hey!

  


Tifa: He's right ya know. We'd be much better off if we ditched the dumb blond.

  


Aeris: But he's one of us. You don't abandon your friends.

  


Yuffie: [points to Aeris] While we're at it, how about losing the little 'gardening hoe'?

  


[Aeris starts to cry...loud.]

  


Aeris: WWWWHHHHHAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  


Cid: DAMMIT!! Why'd you @$!$$@#%%in' have to get her @^&*$(%$#in' started?!

  


Vincent: [to the author] Can I just kill them all?

  


Author (me!): No.

  


Vincent: Why not??

  


Author: Because...if you kill them, then __you get beaten up later by the mystery guests. You want that?

  


Vincent: No ma'am.

  


Author: Dangit! It's 'miss'!! I'm about ten years younger than you!!

  


Red XIII: Vincent, are you arguing with the voices in your head again?

  


[Suddenly, Sephiroth appears.]

  


Sephiroth: Boo.

  


All: AAAAAHHHH!!!

  


Sephiroth: Don't worry, I only plan to kill Cloud and Aeris again...Unless Cid ticks me off...

  


Cid: @^%@@^@^#$%# you!!

  


Sephiroth: Nice. Anyway...

  


[He is interuppted by Tifa screaming. Everyone turns to see a weird looking rat staring eerily at her.]

  


Cat Sith: What is that? Looks tasty...

  


Yuffie: If you try to eat that thing in front of me, I will kill you. Literally.

  


Rat: Pikachu!

  


Aeris: Bless you.

  


Cloud: Well, better kill it. It might be evil.

  


Vincent: You don't even know what it is, yet you want to destroy it?

  


Cloud: Yup.

  


Rat: Pika!!

  


Cid: #$@%#%& creature!!

  


Aeris: Let's give it a name. We'll call it... ... ...Fluffy!

  


Red XIII: You're stupidity never ceases to amaze me...

  


Aeris: [smiles] Thanks.

  


[Fluffy walks slowly over to Tifa. Then it clamps onto her leg and starts...well...I don't have to go into gory detail. If you do't know what I'm talkng about, watch the skunk scene in __Mystery Men.]

  


Tifa: GET IT OFF ME!!!!

  


[Just then, three kids run into the scene.]

  


Kid 1: Hey! What aer you doing to my Pikachu?!

  


Tifa: o.O!! What am __I doing to __it?!

  


Kid 2: Um...Ash, I think Pikachu's getting a bit lonely these days...

  


Kid 3: [smiles at Tifa] Can I be next?

  


Kid 2: BROCK!!

  


[Tifa kicks the Pikachu off her leg and punches Kid 3 (Brock)]

  


Ash: You kicked my Pikachu!!

  


Red XIII: Well, she had every right!

  


Cid: It was $&##ing her leg!!

  


Sephiroth: Heh heh heh...

  


Yuffie: That is __so disgusting!!

  


Cloud: Damn funny though...

  


Tifa: Keep that rat away from me!

  


Brock: [lovestruck] What's your name??

  


Tifa: [annoyed] I'm Tifa Lockhart, adn if you don't stay away from me, I'll kick your a--

  


Aeris: [interrupts] We're a bit lost, you see. Could you tell us where we are?

  


Kid 2 (Misty): You're in the Viridian Forest.

  


Cat Sith: [fwaps Cloud] See? We're __way off course!

  


Ash: You hurt Pikachu! I challenge you to a battle!

  


Sephiroth: This'll be fun to watch...

  


Vincent: [glares at the author] Now??

  


Author: Not yet.

  


Ash: I choose...Pikachu!!

  


Pikachu: PIKA!!

  


Cloud: I'll handle this.

  


[Cloud pulls out his B.A.S. (Big Ass Sword).]

  


Ash: Pikachu! Thunderbolt!!

  


[Pikachu zaps Cloud's sword, which connects to him, sending huge amounts of voltage to his body. He collapses in a heap on the ground.]

  


Aeris: [checks Coud's pulse] he's dead!!

  


FFVII cast (except Aeris): YAY!!!!

  


Ash: I win that one. Next I chose...Charizard!!

  


[Ash throws out a Pokeball, and Charizard pops out.]

  


Charizard: RAAARRR!!

  


Aeris: You killed Cloud! Now you're gonna pay!!

  


[Charizard Flamethrows her. She twitches, then realizes her hair is on fire. She runs around crying, then crashes into a tree and falls unconsious.]

  


Ash: I win that one too!

  


[Sephiroth and Vincent step up.]

  


Both: Our turn.

  


Ash: Wanna fight double, huh?

  


Misty: I'll help. I got a crappy part in this fic.

  


Brock: [pushes Misty into aother tree] I'll do it, to prove that I'm worthy of Tifa's love!!

  


Tifa: -_-()

  


[Brock throws another Pokeball, revealing Vulpix.]

  


Ash: Charizard, tackle!

  


[Charizard rushes to tacle Sephiroth. Seph sidesteps, and Charizard trips. Sephiroth takes out his Masamune and makes Curly Fries out of Charizard.]

  


Ash: AAAHHH!!! You killed my Pokemon!!

  


Sephiroth: [smirks] What you gonna do 'bout it?

  


Brock: I'll get 'em for you Ash! Vulpix- use a Fire Spin!

  


[Vulpix readies to attack, but Vincent grabs it by the neck with his claw. He squeezes until Vulpix's head explodes.]

  


Brock: [crying] VULPIX!!!!

  


Cid: #$@%%$IN' crybaby!!

  


Yuffie: I wanna try!!

  


Misty: [regains consiousness] I'll fight her!

  


[Misty calls out her Starmie.]

  


Yuffie: Ooh! Looks like a Suriken. You like to play with Shurikens??

  


[Yuffie takes out four Shurikens. She throws them expertly, pinning Misty to a nearby tree.]

  


Yuffie: [to Starmie] Give up the battle, or she gets it!

  


[Starmie gives up.]

  


Yuffie: Yay! I win!!

  


Misty: You cheated!

  


Yuffie: [takes out another Shuriken] What?

  


Misty: [scared] Nothing.

  


Red XIII: Three to two. I believe that's a win for us.

  


Ash: You cheaters!

  


Vincent: [sighs] If you don't leave us alone, I will be forced to mix a mentally disturbed mindframe with extreme violence.

  


Tifa: HEY!!! This one pinched my butt!!

  


Brock: [is standing behind Tifa] Did not!!

  


Vincent/Sphiroth: [both glare at the author] Now??

  


Author:... ... ... ...Now.

  


[Sephiroth draws Masamune and Vincent turns into Chaos. The screen fades to black as we hear Ash, Misty and Brock scream in terror.]

  


**A/N: End Crossover One. Stay tuned for the next chapter...if there is a next chapter. I'll do one if I get enough reviews. I apologize to any Poke-fans I horribly scarred for life. Flames will be laughed at. And then I will send Chaos to your home to eat you like a snack. That's enough insanity from me for one day...not.**

** ~Karuri-chan (the disturbed)**


	2. Chapter Two: The Insanity Increases!

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**Crossovers From Hell (and How to Cope With Them)**

**Chapter 2: The Insanity Increases!**

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**by Karuri-chan**

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**Notes: Lord, I've done it again...More Aeris and Cloud bashing, extreme violence and MORE FUN WORDS FROM CID!!!**

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[*sigh* Like before, the crew is __still lost. Cloud and Aeris have been brought back to life by the author (For some ungoddessly reason). And they've gotten out of the forest. They find themselves in a quaint, suberb-like city.]

  


Cid: What the @#%^???

  


Yuffie: Where the @#$% are we?

  


Cid: Don't @%^in' well steal my %$#%^in' lines, %^@#$ kids!!

  


[Yuffie sticks her tongue out at him.]

  


Tifa: Well, now what do we do?

  


Red XII: How about we walk around for a while?

  


Cloud: Can we look like tourists?

  


Everyone except Cloud (and Aeris, who thinks it's a great idea): [facefault] CLOUD!!

  


Cat Sith: [points his megaphone in Cloud's ear and yells] STOP BEING A MORON!!!

  


Sephiroth: [to himself] I could kill them now...get it over with...btu __no...Author-girl said keep them alive...Damn her!

  


Author: [scowls] I only keep __you alive because I think you're cute, so watch it..

  


[Suddenly, a 'Creature From the Black Lagoon' lookalike runs over Aeris. The thing checks its foot like it stepped in dog poop, then looks distugted.]

  


Vincent: What is that?

  


Cloud: Is it a ducky?

  


Tifa: [slaps Cloud] No, incompetant. It's not a ducky.

  


Creature: [whining] You gotta help me! Those girls--they're gonna KILL me!!

  


[The creature grabs onto Sephiroth's jacket. Seph looks pitifully at the others.]

  


Sephiroth: Help...?

  


Yuffie: What girls? who's gonna kill you?

  


Voice from the distance: I think he went that way!

  


Creature: [hides behind Sephiroth and Vincent (who, for some strange reason always stand next to each other...) and begins to cry] WHHAAHH!!! SAVE ME!!

  


[Six girls run up to the group, dressed in strange costumes]

  


Girl 1: Sailor Moon, I think these guys are hiding the creature!

  


S. Moon: You're right, Sailor Mercury! Step away from the monster!

  


Tifa: [glares at the author] you've gotta be kidding...

  


[The author smiles evilly and shakes her head.]

  


S. Mars: Step away, or we'll be forced to take you on too!

  


Vincent: [sighs] Listen lady, we just took on a bunch of annoying kids. We just want to go home...

  


S. venus: You can go home as soon as we detroy that monster!

  


S. Jupiter: It's part of the Enemy!!

  


Cloud: [scoots over to Sailor Venus] You know, I know this great Italian restaurant...

  


[Venus high-kicks Cloud.]

  


Cloud: [swirly-eyes look] Wowie...I taste blood...

  


S. Moon: Come on Chibi Moon, let's vanquish--[looks around] Chibi Moon? Where'd she go??

  


[Everyone turns to see Red XIII, as he swallows a puff of pink hair.]

  


All: o.O!!!!

  


Red XIII: [burps] Pardon. Yummy.

  


Cid: You ate a $%@%in' girl!!!!!!

  


Cat Sith: Now I think he has a taste for human blood...

  


S. Jupiter: [oblivious to the death of Rini, she looks at Tifa] Hey, you might make a good Sailor Scout...

  


[The author waves her hand over her magic keyboard, and Tifa is now wearing a Sailor fuku.]

  


Tifa: What the @%??!!

  


Cid: QUIT @#$IN' STEALIN' MY ^%@#@% &#$# $%& $^&$&$ ... ... ... ... ... @#^%IN' WORDS!!!!!!!!!!

  


S. Mercury: Enough of this! MERCURY BUBBLES BLAST!!

  


[Cat Sith is hit by the bubbles.]

  


Cat Sith: [giggles like a schoolgirl] Stop! That tickles!! Hee hee!

  


S. Mercury: [tearing up] It's...supposed...to--to...hurt...!!

  


Sephiroth: [laughs] You think __bubbles are gonna hurt someone?!

  


Luna: [pops up from nowhere] Scouts! Hurry up already! I'm missing Springer!!

  


Red XIII: [licks his chomps] Here kitty, kitty, kitty...

  


[Luna runs for her life, chased by a hungry Red.]

  


Cloud: [regains some consiousness] Ooh..preeeeeetty duckies...

  


[S. Moon stabs him with her sceptor for no apparant reason.]

  


Sephiroth: Oh, the hell with this!

  


[He chants some garbage. Suddenly, a meteor falls from space, smashing all the Sailor Scouts into paste.]

  


Author: Hey!!

  


Vincent: Well, that about wraps things up.

  


[Red returns to the scene, smiling and slurping up the last of a black tail.]

  


Cid: And I @#$in' think that __does wrap up everything.

  


Tifa: Not quite. I'm still in this dumb costume!

  


Sephiroth: Actually, I think it's kinda cute on you.

  


Tifa: Really?

  


Vincent: [glares at the author] A-hem...

  


Author: Jeez...no fun at all...

  


[She changes Tifa back to her regular clothes. Sephiroth pouts and Vincent fumes.]

  


  


Aeris: [watches the still-steaming meteor] Well, now what do we do?

  


Yuffie: [points to the creature] We could kill that.

  


Creature: No!

  


[Everyone jumps it and tears it to shreads.]

  


Cid: [dusts himself off] That was @#%^#$@#$in' fun...

  


Red: Only one problem...

  


Others: What?

  


Red: Aeris is still alive.

  


[The others gasp and turn to Aeris.]

  


Vincent: Lord, could it be she actually survived?

  


Author: Not likely vampy...

  


  


[A huge stone with the words 'THE END' on it falls on Aeris.]

  


Sephiroth: [growls at the author] How...convienent....

  


Author: That's IT!!

  


[There is a flash of smoke. When it clears, Sephiroth is wearing a gray Sailor fuku.]

  


Sephiroth: What the--??!!

  


[He turns a dark shade of crimson as everyone laughs. Vincent raises an eyebrow curiously.]

  


Yuffie: Let's get outta here before Cloud wakes up.

  


Cloud: [mumbling unconsiously] Duckies good...Author bad...make Cloud die...I'm the hero...

  


[Everyone walks away from the scene, leaving the unconsious Cloud, the meteor, the rock of plot contrivances, and the leftover bits of the creature behind.]

  


**A/N: Yes, I am aware this chapter sucks. No, I'm not on drugs--if I was, this probably would've worked out better. I swear, Chapter 3 will be better. No Sailor Scout fans whining at me please, I actually like the show. I just thought it was a funny idea. And if you didn't get my subtle hints, I'm thinking of doing a Vincent x Sephiroth fic. What about it?**

** ~Karuri-chan (will ahng herself now for bad writing)**


	3. Chapter Three: Oh My Goddess(es)!

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**Chapter Three (it onmy gets worse from here!)**

**Oh My Goddess(es)!**

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[Well, if you've read the other two chapters, then you know that our heroes are __stil lost in the land of Animes.]

  


Cloud: I gotta go to the bathroom!

  


Tifa: Remind me why the author keeps bringing you and your little 'gardening hoe' girlfriend back to life?

  


Red XIII: We think that the Cloud/Aeris fans are bribing her.

  


Author: [shoves a small bag into her pocket] That's rediculous!!

  


Cloud: I still gotta go potty...

  


Sephiroth: [fwaps Cloud] Shut up man! You're acting like a five year-old!!

  


[They come to a small house (conveinent, huh?).]

  


Yuffie: Should we even ask?

  


Cait Sith: [shakes his head] I don't figure this is gonna be any different than before...

  


Cid: Well, it might. maybe the author could write a fic without any @#%@#%%in' typos for once!

  


[A wild Chocobo runs over Cid.]

  


Cid: Dammit woman! What the hell was that for?!

  


Author: Don't make fun of my typing skills!

  


Aeris: [mutters] It's a wonder she passed typing class...

  


[A herd of wild Chocobos stomp on Aeris.]

  


Author: [grinning maniacally] What's that?

  


Vincent: Let's just get this over with please.

  


[Vincent knocks on the door. A small girl, around thirteen with long black hair answers it.]

  


Girl: Hello?

  


Tifa: Um...hi. we were traveling, and [points to Cloud] the blond here has to use the restroom. Can we use yours?

  


Girl: I guess so...unless any of you are evil spirits.

  


[Sephiroth whistles innocently.]

  


Yuffie: Nah. The only one you should worry about got killed by a herd of Chocobos.

  


Girl: Choco-whats?

  


[Another girl walks to the door. She looks to be around seventeen.]

  


Girl 2: Skuld, who's at the door?

  


Skuld: Some people want to use our bathroom.

  


Girl 2: Well, let them in. [turns to the VII crew] I'm Belldandy, and this is my sister Skuld.

  


Crew: Hiya.

  


[Everyone goes inside. Cloud runs to the direction Belldandy points in for the bathroom.]

  


Belldandy: Would you all like some tea?

  


Cid: Now you're @#%$in' talkin'!

  


Belldandy: o.O!!!

  


Vincent: [fwaps Cid] Yes please.

  


[Belldandy goes to the kitchen to make tea. A boy around eighteen and a woman about twenty-one enter the room, arguing to each other.]

  


Woman: Is too.

  


Boy: Not.

  


[They see the crew sitting in the living room.]

  


Woman: Who are you?

  


[Belldandy enters.]

  


Belldandy: Keiichi, Urd, these are some travelers. One of tehm had to use the restroom, so they stopped here.

  


[As if on cue, Cloud erturns to the living room, smile of releif on his face.]

  


Cloud: I'm done. [notices Urd] Wow!!

  


[He starts to drool. Tifa smacks him.]

  


Tifa: You idiot. don't get yuor drool all over these nice people's carpet!

  


[Sephiroth starts walkking around the room, exploring (a.k.a. looking for junk to steal). Suddenly a loud SQUISH sounds from his foot. He lifts up his foot to see a small chibi-thing, now parading as mush.]

  


Skuld: You killed a house spirit!

  


Sephiroth: Shit. I'm sorry...

  


Belldandy: I'm sure he didn't mean it...

  


[Sephiroth sees another chibi and squishes that one too. He giggles.]

  


Keiichi: Looks to me like he did.

  


Urd: [moves over to Cloud] Who might you be?

  


Cloud: I'm Cloud, the world's greatest hero!

  


Urd: [frowns] You're no fun.

  


[Urd chants something, and Cloud is immediately jolted with a bolt of lightning.]

  


Cloud: [coughs up smoke all cartoon-like] I...hate...lighting...

  


[He dies.]

  


Author: Well, I've almost filled my quota...

  


Skuld: [frowns at Sephiroth] You'll pay for killing innocent house spirits!

  


[She chants, and Sephiroth suddenly has the word 'jerk' plastered to his forehead.]

  


Cid: @#$%@in' right!!

  


Red XIII: This looks like a start of another battle...

  


Vincent: [as sarcastically as possible] Wow. Who saw that coming?

  


[Sephiroth takes out Masamune and makes shishcabob out of poor Skuld.]

  


Urd: You bastard, you killed my sister!

  


[She starts chanting again, but Tifa upper-cuts her in the jaw.]

  


Tifa: I've had enough.

  


Cait Sith: It's nice how we come into other people's habitats and kill them.

  


Yuffie: [stuffing random things in her pockets quietly] Yeah.

  


Belldandy: Would everyone calm down please!

  


[Yuffie flings a vase at her, and she get knocked out.]

  


Keiichi: What the--?!

  


[Red notices how hungry he is, then chases after Keiichi, who is screaming like a girl.]

  


Vincent: This si gettign out of hand.

  


Cid: You're @!$% tellin' me! The damn author is @#$@#$in' crazy!!

  


Author: Am not.

  


Cid: Are !@$%in' too!

  


Author: Not always-more-than-you-infinity-plus-one!

  


Cid... ... ...damn you.

  


[Red returns to the scene.]

  


Cait Sith: I don't see what you like about the taste of those damned humans...

  


Urd: [punches Tifa in the stomach] I will not be beaten by a mear HUMAN!!!

  


[Tifa gets wicked pissed and uses Final Hevean (which I have no idea what it does, but humor me here, people...). The surviving VII cast runs out of the house as it explodes.]

  


Vincent: [blinks] Well. That was fun.

  


Tifa: Let's get out of here.

  


Red XIII: [to Cait] You should really try it sometime. It's kinda salty, but it has a certain sweetness to it.

  


Cait: Humans...blech.

  


Yuffie: [runs over to Cid] Hey, look at all the cool stuff I swiped! Wanna buy it?

  


Cid: Dammit. I hate kids.

  


Sephiroth: I killed one.

  


Cid: Dammit. I hate demi-god wannabes.

  


Cloud: I killed one.

  


Author: Cloud, you're dead.

  


Cloud: Aw, damn. Do I have to be?

  


Author: Yes.

  


[Cloud drops to the ground dead. The others continue on their meaningless journey.]

  


**A/N: Stop me now, before I strike again!!**

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**Closing note: "It's not what you're doing so much as the idiotic way you're doing it." ~Vincent**

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	4. Chapter Four: Saturday Morning Cartoons!

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**Chapter Four (this is my longest fic yet!)**

**Saturday Morning Cartoons**

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[Our heroes have finally stumbled out of the land of anime. But they're in for quite a shock!]

  


Vincent: Oh no. We're in the land of Cheesy American Animation!!

  


Aeris: How can you tell?

  


[A large sign that says 'Land of Cheesy American Animation' falls on Aeris.]

  


Vincent: It was a sign from the heavens...

  


[Everyone boos the author's bad pun.]

  


Aeris: [clrawls out from under the sign.] Hey, I'm alive!

  


Author: Of course. I'm not ready for you to die yet. ^-^

  


Cid: @#%^@^#&%$&^#%$@#^#$%&$#$%&#$%^@%... ... ... ...@#^%.

  


Tifa: What was all that for?

  


Cid: [shrugs] I like the funny symbols the author uses to edit all my cussing.

  


Yuffie: Lemme try!

  


Cid: Okay. Just say @$%.

  


Yuffie: @$%!!!!

  


[Yuffie smiles proudly adn the group walks on. Why they stopped for Yuffie to cuss is beyond me... They end up in a forest.]

  


Sephiroth: Not another one!

  


[A little pink pig enters the scene. He looks all innocent and sweet.]

  


Pig: H..hello. I'm Pppppppiglett.

  


Aeris: [walks over to Piglett and hands him a flower] Here you go, you cute little thing.

  


[Piglett then grows 40x's his original hight and swallows Aeris whole.]

  


Others: o.O!!!

  


Piglett: [burps and returns to normal size.] Oh dddddear...

  


[Tifa walks over to Piglett. She grabs him by the neck and lifts him off the ground. She punches him in the face.]

  


Piglett: Ddddear!

  


*Punch!*

  


Piglett: Dddddear!!

  


*Punch!*

  


Piglett: Dddddd...

  


*Punch!*

  


[Piglett is silent, seeing as he's dead.]

  


Author: Cool.

  


[The rest of the 'Pooh' cast shows up, and they don't look too happy that Tif killed their friend...]

  


Cloud: AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

  


Red XIII: We must fight them!

  


Cait Sith: [does a Kefka laugh] Kill 'em all!!!!

  


[Yuffie takes on Eyore(spelling?).]

  


Eyore: [monotone] Don't mind me. Just passin' through...

  


[Yuffie throws her giant Shuriken. It slices through Eyore.]

  


Yuffie: [laughs] You mean passing __on...

  


[Vincent and Tigger.]

  


Tigger: [bounces around Vincent and laughs] You can't kill me if you can't stop me!!

  


Vincent: [watches Tigger, a slight frown of annoyance on his face] Please stop that.

  


Tigger: [jumps and punches Vincent] Or what, ya----

  


[Vincent turns into Chaos.]

  


Tigger: ...ya...ya...eep.

  


[Chaos tears Tigger to cotton-ey shreads.]

  


Vincent: [returns to normal] Take __that, you stuffed animal bastard!

  


Tigger: [dying] B-L-double O-D......[dies.]

  


[Sephiroth and Pooh Bear...]

  


Pooh: Now, why can't we all just settle this over some honey??

  


Sephiroth: See you in hell, Bear...

  


[He stabs Pooh in the middle. Pooh falls to his knees.]

  


Pooh: Oh...bother...

  


[Sephiroth flashes a 'I'm such a good bad guy' grin and cackles.]

  


Pooh: That's...creepy...

  


Sephiroth: [stabs him again] Just die!!!

  


Pooh: ... ... ...[dies.]

  


[Cloud and Rabbit.]

  


Cloud: [pulls out his B.A.S.] C'mon!!!

  


Rabbit: I don't want to fight... ...but I know some birds that do!!! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHA!!!!...ha.

  


[Rabbit throws a bucket of birdseed on Cloud. Immediately, a flock of crows attack him, eating the seed...as well as Cloud himself.]

  


Cloud: [running around like a chicken minus its head] OH GOD!!! GET 'EM OFF ME!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!

  


[Rabbit looks on as the bieds devour Cloud. All the rest of the FF cast crowd around the only living Pooh cast-person.]

  


Rabbit: YOU WANNA PIECE OF ME???!!!!

  


[Suddenly a huge box falls from the sky.]

  


Red XIII: Another sign from the heavens!!

  


Sephiroth: I'm gonna kill the author for these lame puns.

  


[A Chocobo runs over Seph.]

  


Sephiroth: Sonova-

  


Tifa: No death threats to the writer.

  


Author: Damn straight!

  


Cat Sith: The box crushed the rabbit.

  


Vincent: So, what's in the box?

  


[Christopher Robin enters.]

  


Chris: Oh dear, where have all my friends gone?

  


Cid: In hell.

  


[Barret bursts out of the box and blasts Christopher Robin to kingdom come (where ever that is).]

  


Yuffie: Wicked cool!

  


Barret: I figured you foo's need some elp!

  


Red XIII: [tilts his head] What?

  


Tifa: He said 'I figured you fools would need some help'.

  


Others: Ooooohhh.

  


Vincent: So, you're leaving now, right?

  


Barret: Hell naw. I's gonna stay wit you alls!

  


Sephiroth: Huh?

  


Tifa: 'Hell no. I'm going to stay with you all.'

  


Red XIII: Goddesses, no...

  


Cait Sith: Anyway, I think I liked it better in Anime Land.

  


[Suddenly, they're back in Anime Land.]

  


Tifa: [fwaps Cait] you __had to open your big mouth, didn't you?

  


~Fin -(for now)~

  


**A/N: I think this is the best chapter yet! Thanks to everyone for ideas! I think this'll go on for quite awhile...**

**FFVII Cast: NOOOOOO!!!!!**

**  
**

**Keep sending in ideas! I love 'em!**

** ~Karuri-chan**


	5. Chapter Five: So Much Madness in One Cha...

cross5 .Helvetica16 { pont-family: Arial, Helvetica, adobe-helvetica, Arial Narrow; pont-size: 16px; } .Times10 { pont-family: Times New Roman, adobe-times, Times; pont-size: 10px; } 

**Chapter Five**

**So Much Madness in One Chapter!!**

**  
**

[Our heroes are once more in the land of Anime.]

  


Tifa: Yeah. Thanks to Cait here.

  


Cait Sith: Well, it's better than American Animation!!

  


Cid: And to top it all off, we're back in the @$%@%^in' forest!!

  


Yuffie: Well, we just have to get out before any anime characters find us.

  


Cloud: I like bunnies.

  


Aeris: [dreamy-eyed over Cloud] Isn't he cuuuuuuuute....?

  


Others: [flatly] No.

  


[They walk into someone's campsite.]

  


Sephiroth: I wonder who's here...and if I could take 'em on...

  


Vincent: [banging his head on a tree trunk repetitively] Life is a joke...*BANG!* I'm just the punchline...*BANG!* Life is a joke...*BANG!* I'm just the punchline...*BANG!* Life is a joke...

  


Others: [blink] o.o

  


Barret: Foo' wat you's tryin' to do- kill yoself??

  


Red XIII: What did he say now?

  


Cloud: 'Fool, what are you trying to do- kill yourself?'

  


Vincent: Yes, actually.

  


Aeris: I'll help!

  


[Aeris mysteriously disappears...not like anyone cares.]

  


Yuffie: Where'd she go?

  


Author: Nowhere in particular...

  


[Scene pans to Aeris, alone in an arctic tundra.]

  


Aeris: H...hello? Anyone??

  


[Scene pans back to our group, as guy and a girl enter, with a little flying, glowing Super Ball following them.]

  


Guy: Who are you?

  


Tifa: We're from the game Final Fantasy VII. Who are you?

  


Guy: I'm Link, and this is Zelda. The fairy's name is Navi.

  


Navi: Hey! Look! Listen!

  


Link: [takes Navi and punts him/her/it.] I SAID SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!

  


FFVII Cast: o.O!!!

  


Zelda: Why are you in our camp?

  


Barret: 'Cause we's lost!!! You's know where we is??

  


Link: You're in Hyrule (it's the only Zelda location I know...).

  


Cid: Where in the name of @#%^ is that?!

  


[A map flies down from the sky.]

  


Sephiroth: [looks to the author] You didn't do that sooner, why?

  


Author: [shrugs] Didn't feel like it.

  


Vincent: Life is a joke...*BANG!* I'm just the punchline...*BANG!*

  


Link: What's with your friend there?

  


Tifa: [smiles] He's just a little scuicidal right now...

  


Vincent: And I'll take all of you with me!!

  


Sephiroth: That's nice. you just do that, okay?

  


Vincent: [snaps] Good.

  


[He breaks a branch off the tree, which falls on Zelda, killing her.]

  


Link: Damn you! What was that for?!

  


Vincent: [points to Sephiroth] He said I could.

  


[Link pulls out his sword. Cloud grabs his B.A.S. Tifa stops everyone.]

  


Tifa: What's that buzzing noise?

  


[Everyone listens as the buzzing grows louder.]

  


Cloud: [pulls a beehive out of the brach on the ground] I think this is it.

  


Everyone else: o.O!!!!! 

  


[Everyone hides. Cloud tosses the beehive in the air and catches it.]

  


Cloud: What's with you guys?

  


[The bees fly out of the hive and start to sting Cloud relentlessly.]

  


Cloud: Owwie!! Mommy!!! Whaaaahh!!!

  


[He dies from being deathly allergic to bee stings (kinda does that sometimes...). The bees then chase the rest of the group. Everyone jumps in a nearby lake, as the bees fly past them. The group trudges out of the water, sopping wet.]

  


Link: You guys are dangerous! I'll have to kill you all now, before you hurt others!

  


Sephiroth: Kid, don't bother. We've taken out plants tougher than you.

  


[Link pulls out his sword. He rushes at Yuffie, who wasn't paying attention. Then, he trips and impales himself on his own sword.]

  


Cid: [with his leg sticking out] Now how the @$#% d'ya think that happened?

  


[Navi flies back in.]

  


Navi: Hey! Look! Listen!!

  


Cait: [traps Navi in his megaphone and does a Kefka laugh] This'll be fun...[yells into the megaphone] HEY!!! LOOK!!! LISTEN!!!!

  


[Navi flies erratically out of Cait's megaphone, then falls to the ground.]

  


Red XIII: Hey guys, check this out!

  


[Everyone turns to see him juggling the empty beehive in his front paws. Then he misses the catch, and the hive hits Vincent and Sephiroth.]

  


Sephiroth: Damn cat-thingey...

  


[Then the two realize that there was a lot of honey in the hive, They walk away from each other, only to be flung back together by the sticky honey.]

  


Vincent: What the--?!

  


Tifa: If __that isn't a couple hint, I don't know what is...

  


Sephiroth: [casts a menacing stare at the author] This is __your doing, isn't it?

  


Author: [whistles innocently and smiles] I don't know what you mean...

  


[The group starts back on their way, Vincent and Sephiroth still stuck together.]

  


**Not exactly one of the best chapters, but I got some VincentxSephy hints in.**

**  
**

**Closing quote: **

** "This is where it turns into a hard-core lemon!" ~Xander (my bro)**

****

** ~Karuri-chan**


	6. Chapter Six: Monganseeka!

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**Chapter Six:**

**Monganseeka!**

**  
**

[Yet again, our heroes are treking through teh world of T.V. shows.]

  


Cloud: When are we gonna get out of Anime land again?

  


Vincent: As soon as the authoress decides to do a non-anime show.

  


Author: And ya know what guys?

  


All: What?

  


Author: We're makin' some changes here.

  


[The group lets out a collective girlish scream.]

  


Author: I'm replacing Barret.

  


[Barret disappears. Shera comes in his place.]

  


Shera: [blinks] What...?

  


Author: Good. And now, you guys are going into one of the most feared places known to anyone above Kindergarden level...The Land of Public Television!!! [laughs evilly] So, go!

  


[Everyone trudges along. Suddenly, a small furry thing sets down on Shera's head. She screams and throws it across the road.]

  


Thing: Well that wasn't very nice.

  


Tifa: What the heck is that?

  


[The thing hops away.]

  


Sephiroth: Follow it! It probably knows the way out!

  


Red XIII: You just want something to kill, don't you?

  


Sephiroth: Problem with that?

  


Red: No.

  


Yuffie: Let's GO!!!

  


[Everyone races behind the furry creature. It leads them to a house-looking building. The creature hops inside. Our heroes wait near the door, listening to who's inside.]

  


Thing: I met some interesting creatures today!

  


Voice 1: Who?

  


Voice 2 : [mutters] As if we really care...

  


[The thing starts singing horribly. The group bursts through the door.]

  


Cait Sith: BOO!!!!! Hahahahahahhaa!!

  


[They see the thing and two guys.]

  


Guys 1: Are they who you saw Zaboomafo?

  


Thing (Apparantly named Zaboomafo): Yes!

  


Cid: Who the @#$^%& are you?

  


[The two introduce themselves as Chris and Martin.]

  


Sephiroth: Well, we came here to kill the furry thing.

  


Chris: Go ahead...

  


Martin: NO! You can't do that!

  


Vincent: I know what Zaboomafo actually means...

  


All: You do?

  


Vincent: Yes. Translated, it means "Crackhead Puppet Lemur".

  


Cait: Yes Dammit! CRACK CRACK!!!!!

  


[Everyone glares at Cait, then realizes he's been drugged up.]

  


Red: Why...?

  


Author: [shrugs] I wanted him hyper.

  


Tifa: I'm sure we can discuss this in a calm manner...

  


Sephiroth: [slices Zaboomafo in half with Masamune] Calm? What's that?

  


Martin: You killed Zaboo!

  


Everyone else: [automatically] You Bastard!

  


Chris: [just for something to do] Attack, clay demons! Obey your master!!!

  


Author: o.O!!!

  


Yuffie: Cool! Witchcraft!

  


[All the little clay things start to latch onto the characters.]

  


Shera: [throwing a few of them] They won't die!

  


[One of them knocks Aeris into the lake. She doesn't come back up. Another latches onto Vincent's face, so he can't berathe.]

  


Cid: Oh no ya don't, ya @#^!!

  


[He grabs the little clay demon off of Vince's face and stabs him.]

  


Vincent: Thank you.

  


Author: [smiles as audience glares at her] Yuppers. 

  


Sephiroth: [pouts] But what about me?

  


Tifa: Never mind your love life right now! We've got to kill these things!

  


[Suddenly, the door bursts open. Rufus and the Turks stand there, looking all cool and stuff. They all hold flame-throwers.]

  


Reno: Everyone throw them into one place!

  


[The one clay thing with the drill for a head (ack...) lunges at Cloud, drilling a hole straight through him. The rest of the cast manages to hoard the demons into one corner, where the Turks fry them like pottery.]

  


Chris: Well, that was kinda cool.

  


Martin: No!! We won't be defeated!!

  


[He is hit by a dictionary.]

  


Martin: What the--?!

  


[He turns to see the FF7 group, all staring at Shera, who is smiling.]

  


Martin: [dizzily] Who...threw...that...??

  


[Another book flies at him. With his last bit of conciousness, he reads the title: "Webster's Ultra-Thick Second Edition Dictionary".]

  


Red: Good job!

  


[Shera takes a bow. Everyone turns to Chris]

  


Chris: I don't care. I'm letting you guys get out of here before the PBS police get here.

  


Yuffie: It's the cops! Cheese it!!

  


[Everyone runs out of the building, just as sirens are heard. The group returns to their aimless wandering.]

  


Elena: Well, that was strange...

  


Tifa: Hey, thanks for helping us back there.

  


Rufus: No problem. It was fun!

  


Tseng: We should probably go now.

  


Reno: We'll see ya 'round!

  


[They disappear.]

  


Cait: How duya suppose they do that?

  


Author: My world...my rules...

  


Shera: So now what?

  


Sephiroth: Now I think is a good time to discuss the author's coupling preference...

  


Author: >.>...<.<...Nope. I gave enough hints. I never explain anything outright.

  


Vincent: Why not?

  


Author: It gives me an air of mysteriousness...

  


Red: And...?

  


Author: ...And I don't wanna.

  


Cait: No Dammit! TELL TELL!!! HAHAHHAHHAHA!!!!

  


[Yuffie whacks Cait on the back of the head.]

  


Cid: How in the @#%^ did this get started anyways?

  


Author: It involves a vacation, free printing, and some yaoi doujinshi...

  


Shera: I __don't wanna know...

  


~Fin~

  


**A/N: Yes, I'm addicted. If you don't know what I'm talking about, I now have a new coupling preference, and I'll be darned if I care what everyone else thinks!! This is what happens when your summer break resorts to watching public television. And, for the people who keep giving me ideas, thank you! But most of the shows everyone wants me to do, I know not much to nothing about the characters. So, if you **_**really**_** want to go the distance, you can e-mail me some decriptions of the character's quirks at **[**  
karurichan@hotmail.com**][1]**. Otherwise, you'll just have to stick to what I know. Ja ne!! ^-^ **

** ~Karuri-chan**

   [1]: mailto:karurichan@hotmail.com



	7. Chapter Seven: No Need for Final Fantasy

Chapter Seven: No Need for Final Fantasy  
  
Note: I am continuing this fic after a looooooong break from this series. I realized that so many ppl wanted more, so here goes!  
  
  
  
[As in all the preivious chapters, our heroes, now with the adjusting of a few characters, are still lost, and rather tired of killing people from other shows.]  
  
Sephiroth: Can't the author find something better for us to do?  
  
Author: Hey, you try writing a multi-chaptered humor story with crossovers!  
  
Yuffie: I did! But you said it was stupid!  
  
Red XIII: I read it. It was worse than this...  
  
Tifa: Hey, *looks at the author* what ever happened to the narrator?  
  
Shera: Narrator? Who's that?  
  
Tifa: The narrator we had in the first chapter.  
  
Cloud: Haven't you heard?  
  
Cid: What the @%^ are you talkin' about?!  
  
Aeris: The narrator went with us one time when we died, but the author forgot to reincarnate him.  
  
Cait: Yes dammit!! DEATH DEATH!!!! AHHAHHAHHHAHHAA!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Vincent: *glares at Cait* He's still on drugs, isn't he?  
  
Author: I like him better this way.  
  
Sephiroth: Then you have more problems than we thought.  
  
Author: Better believe it, Angel-Boy!  
  
Aeris: Uh...is there a story?  
  
Author: Oi...Pink Blob is right.  
  
[Aeris is suddenly disiegrated by a flash of light.]  
  
Yuffie: Isn't that conveinent.  
  
[The flash of light stops. It reveals itself to be a girl with light blue hair.]  
  
Cloud: [drooling] Wow...she's pretty...  
  
Girl: [frowns] Who are you?  
  
Vincent: We're travellers on a road angels, and anyone with more common sense than a potato, fear to tread.  
  
Cid: Translation...we're lost.  
  
Girl: Oh. Why didn't you say so. I'm Ryoko.  
  
Cloud: [lovestruck] And I'm yours...  
  
[Cloud gets zapped by a laser.]  
  
Red: Who saw that coming?  
  
[Everyone but Ryoko raises their hands.]  
  
Shera: What was that anyways?  
  
[A shorter girl, with red hair, appears from the bushes, holding a complicated-looking machine.]  
  
Ryoko: And this is Washu.  
  
Washu: Charmed.  
  
Seohiroth: That was cool. Can I try that thing?  
  
Washu: No.  
  
Ryoko: If you're lost, we can take you to Tenchi. He can probably help.  
  
Tifa: Sounds like a plan.  
  
[The group follows Ryoko and Washu. Tifa tries to talk to the others.]  
  
Tifa: [whispers] Now, DON'T kill anyone, got it?  
  
Everyone: [answers like little schoolkids] Yes Ma'am.  
  
[They come to a busy house, where they are greeted by a purple-haired girl, a younger girl with blue hair, a blond with darker skin and a boy who looked out of place.]  
  
Ryoko: Found them near the woods.  
  
Washu: I had to zap one of them. The others don't seem to mind.  
  
Tenchi: Where do you all come from?  
  
Cait: Hell.  
  
Red: [shoots Cait an angry look] We're from another universe. That might sound strange...  
  
Ayeka(purple-haired girl): Not really.  
  
Mioshi(blond): Are you aliens too?  
  
Sasami(younger): Oh! What planet are you from?!  
  
Tenchi: [sighs] So much for cover...  
  
Vincent: Actually, we're not aliens.  
  
Washu: Great going guys, now we have to kill them too.  
  
Tifa: What?  
  
Ryoko: Yeah. We gotta keep our secret. Don't want to have the FBI over here...  
  
Shera: You've got to be joking...  
  
Tenchi: Sorry about this..  
  
[The Tenchi cast advances toward the group. Suddenly, a loud belch is heard, stopping all.]  
  
Red: Sorry. That little rabbit thing squirmed too much.  
  
Sasami: [o.O] Ryo-oh-ki?! YOU ATE HER?!  
  
Red: My bad.  
  
[Sasami changes into Magical Girl Pretty Sammy]  
  
Sammy: Now you will pay!  
  
Cid: I thought we could get through one #@%$in' episode without havin' to kill.  
  
Sephiroth: [grabs Massy] Heh heh...fresh meat...  
  
[Tifa gives up trying to stop the fight and sits in a corner. The FF battle music plays n the background.]  
  
Everyone: ????  
  
Author: Sorry...Winamp obssession...  
  
[Sammy prepares to use her weapon on Red, but is stopped by Yuffie tossing her shuriken at her, lopping her head clean off.]  
  
Ayeka: SASAMI!!!!!  
  
[Ayeka goes into battle mode and starts pummeling Yuffie. Sephiroth does a jump-lunge and stabs Ayeka midair.]  
  
Shera: [sighs] It's getting gruesome again...  
  
Cid: That's what the people like!  
  
[He spears Mihoshi by surprise.]  
  
Vincent: I refuse to take part in the killing of females.  
  
Tenchi: What about me?  
  
[Tenchi does all these fancy sword moves and such. Vin looks at him calmly, then tqakes out Death Penalty and kills him].  
  
Vincent: No, no quams with killing you.  
  
Cait: [yelling through his mega phone] And the score is 4 to zip, FF favor!  
  
[Washu aims her laser at him, but the toy flips, landing on the machinery. The weapon frizzes out.]  
  
Washu: What?!  
  
Cait: I'm a toy! It's like putting a magnet on your computer screen!  
  
[He then proceeds to fwap her silly with his megaphone.]  
  
Tifa: [from her corner] This author needs to get some help...  
  
Author: Hey, I tried. They said I was hopeless...  
  
Tifa: For good reason.  
  
Author: :P  
  
[Ryoko avoids the FF cast's attacks by transporting back and forth.]  
  
Ryoko: Is that all ya got?! HA!!  
  
Shera: Oh, for heaven's sake...  
  
[She holds up a frying pan right where Ryoko teleports to, knocking her unconcious.]  
  
Red: Well that was kind of cool.  
  
Yuffie: Get her!  
  
Vincent: [stops them] That won't be neccesary.  
  
Cait: Why not? We should finish her!  
  
Vincent: She is unconcious. As is Washu. This will allow us time to escape.  
  
[Everyone starts to protest, but they are cut off by Cid.]  
  
Cid: Everybody shut the $%^^ up! Vin's right, let's just leave.  
  
Sephiroth: [pouts] Stickin' up for him again...  
  
Shera: [frowns at Seph] Ok, tha's getting very old...  
  
[Cid, Vincent and Sephiroth all blush.]  
  
Author: *cackle*  
  
Tifa: [returns from her corner] You're never going to solve this triangle, are you?  
  
Author: I already have. I just don't tell, 'cause I don't wanna disappoint anyone.  
  
Vincent: You're driving me insane.  
  
Red: I suggest we go before they wake up.  
  
[So, our heroes continue thier journey into the unkown.]  
  
Yuffie: I still wanna know the Vin/Cid/Seph thing...  
  
Author: Tough.  
  
Cid/Vincent/Sephiroth: [flash the author kawaii chibi eyes] Pu- lllleeeeeeeeeeze?????  
  
Author: [.] Don't DO that!!! For one thing, I can't resist the eyes, and for the other, when Cid does it, it's just creepy!  
  
Cait: She's gonna tell! I'm takin' all bets!  
  
Shera: I take Vin and Cid.  
  
Yuffie: I pick Vin and Seph.  
  
Red: I think it's Cid and Seph.  
  
[Everyone stares at him]  
  
Red: What?  
  
Author: Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell....  
  
All: Yes???  
  
Author: I'M NOT TELLING!!!! NYA!!  
  
[Everyone falls anime-ishly.]  
  
Author: I'm gonna let the public decide. Vote in your reviews and the winner will be the couple!  
  
Vincent: I'm doomed.  
  
Shera: I think this is a good place to end.  
  
Author: I agree.  
  
  
  
~Fin!  
  
Notes: Back on track now. I know a lot more 'bout animes now, so expect some new chapters. And the voting thing IS real!!! So R&R!!!  
  
~KCSS 


	8. Chapter Eight: Monster Collectors

Chapter 8: Monster Collectors  
  
  
  
[In case you've been living under a rock for this fic, you'd know that our little motely crew is still wandering in Anime-Land.]  
  
Cait: Soooo! Who are we gonna kill today?  
  
Tifa: [frowns] You don't have to say that...  
  
Sephiroth: Face it, we're cold-blodded killers.  
  
Shera: Now that's streching it a bit far...  
  
Vincent: Well, we have killed the casts of seven different shows.  
  
Cloud: One was a game...  
  
Author: Get on with it already!  
  
[Suddenly, a little white cat-looking creature runs into the group's view.]  
  
Tifa: Not another one of those!  
  
Red: Looks tasty though...  
  
Cid: You gotta be kidding me...  
  
[The thing takes one look at them and runs away. So the group follows it. It runs to a clearing in the forest, where there are two kids and a guy.]  
  
Aeris: Are we going to kill them too?  
  
[A giant bird swoops down and eats Aeris in one gulp.]  
  
Author: Anyone else wanna spoil the ending??  
  
[Everyone shakes their heads.]  
  
Author: Good. Carry on...  
  
[By now, the new group has noticed our heroes. They come over to investigate.]  
  
Girl: Hello?  
  
Boy: Who are you?  
  
Cloud: We're from Final Fantasy 7. I'm Cloud, the leader-  
  
Yuffie: [cuts him off] We're just wandering around, that's all. ^^  
  
Boy: Oh. I'm Mondo.  
  
Girl: And I'm Rockna. [points to the guy] And this is my dad, who's name escapes me now.  
  
Sephiroth: You don't know your father's name??  
  
Rockna: For some reason, I can't remember it.  
  
Author: That's because I can't...  
  
Mondo: Who said that???  
  
Author: Oh, crap!  
  
Shera: Uh...I'm a ventrilloquist...?  
  
R.'s Dad: That's interesting. Say, have you guys seen a Monster Item around here?  
  
Cid: What the #%$& is a Montser Item??  
  
Vincent: [frowns] I think this guy looks familiar...  
  
Yuffie: [pulls out a Materia orb] Is this one?  
  
Mondo: Could be.  
  
Rockna: Can we have it?  
  
Yuffie: Hell no.  
  
R.'s Dad: What?! If that's a Monster Item, we need to have it! Give it up!  
  
Tifa: She said no.  
  
Red: Don't make us do something we'll regret.  
  
Sephiroth: [whispers] Please make us do something we'll regret...Please make us do something we'll regret...  
  
Vincent: [jumps, surprised] That's who he is! HOJO!!!!!!!  
  
Everyone: [stops] What????  
  
Vincent: [ducks behind Cid and Sephiroth] It's Hojo! Hide me!!  
  
Shera: Actually, he does look a lot like Hojo...  
  
[Cid stabs Rockna's Dad through his forehead with his spear (a la Midaruchi doujinshi...).]  
  
Mondo: Wow.  
  
Rockna: Dad!  
  
R.'s Dad: [bleeding profusely] That was...unexpected...[dies].  
  
Vincent: Yay!  
  
Sephiroth: [pouts] I wanted ta do it...  
  
Tifa: [rolls her eyes] And so it begins...  
  
Mondo: [turns to Rockna] Don't worry! I'll get these guys for killing your dad!  
  
Rockna: You'd do that?  
  
[Shoujo manga sparkles and bubbles fill the screen. Both their eyes go all teary.]  
  
Mondo: You bet I would...  
  
Rockna: Oh Mondo...  
  
[Sephiroth, still pouting, takes Masamune to Mondo.]  
  
Rockna: o.O  
  
Cloud: Feel better?  
  
Sephiroth: Yes, actually.  
  
Cait: Well, we might as well get rid of the last one...  
  
Rockna: That's it! You're toast!  
  
[She summons a monster. It's a Lemming.]  
  
Rockna: Oh crap. Just one of them??  
  
Lemming: ^^ Squeek!  
  
Shera: [accidentally steps on it] Oops. My bad?  
  
Rockna: [-.-o] I'm doomed.  
  
Cait: Got that right.  
  
[His Moogle eats her whole.]  
  
Yuffie: [smirks] Now there's a new one...  
  
Tifa: Well, we wrapped that one up quicker than normal.  
  
Author: Who said you were done?  
  
Vincent: But...everyone's dead...  
  
Author: Says you.  
  
[As if on cue, three more enter the clearing. Two girls and a guy.]  
  
Red: Just great...  
  
Author: These are the normal villians. The purple-haired girl is Gluko, the redhead is Batch, and the weird guy is Eccentro. Kill them quickly. I have an appointment to keep.  
  
Shera: That was odd.  
  
Cloud: [stares at Gluko] She's cute...  
  
Tifa: [thrashes Cloud with a tree] Give it a rest Spiky...  
  
Cid: [sighs] I'll take care of it.  
  
[He lights a stick of dynamite and hands it to Gluko.]  
  
Gluko: Ooh, thanks.  
  
[Dynamite go boom. Batch and Eccentro die. Gluko flies away with the impact. Anyone who has watched this show knows that she never gets hurt.]  
  
Author: It was quick, I'll give you that.  
  
Cid: Fun too.  
  
Vincent: [looks around] Let's just go, before soemone finds the bodies...  
  
Cloud: [still crushed under the tree] A little help here?  
  
[The group moves on, ignoring Cloud's pleas.]  
  
Cloud: Well, at least I'm alive...  
  
Author: Not on my watch, Spike-Boy.  
  
[Lightning hits the tree, even though it's grounded.]  
  
Cloud: I...hate...this...fic...[dies.]  
  
  
  
  
  
Notes: This is how I prepare for a erligious holiday...I am so going to hell. happy Easter  
  
minna-san! Still waiting for couple votes. This might have gotten better, but I gotta go now.  
  
~KCSS 


End file.
